Killing Your Self-Confidence "The Loser" repeatedly puts you down. They constantly correct your slight mistakes, making you feel "on guard", unintelligent, and leaving you with the feeling that you are always doing something wrong. They tell you that you're too fat, too unattractive, or don't talk correctly or look well. This gradual chipping away at your confidence and self-esteem allows them to later treat you badly - as though you deserved it. In public, you will be "walking on eggshells" - always fearing you are doing or saying something that will later create a temper outburst or verbal argument.
Warning Signs you are Dating a Loser by Joe M. Carver PhD.
To see all 20 signs and steps to end the relationship click here
The comment hit me like a baseball bat. I know I ain't a Victoria's Secret model but I sure ain't fat! I silently cried the whole way home and he didn't acknowledge any of it.. It was heartbreaking hearing that from someone that is suppose to support you. I have lost about 15 lbs since then and he won't even give me a compliment for it. He is unable to. Completely unable to say something nice about me to me.
I can't do tasks in front of him anymore because if I do I am sure I will get a comment that I am doing something wrong - it happens every time. And just the fear of doing something wrong in front of him makes me do things wrong! In his eyes I can't cook.. so now I actually believe I can't cook - yet every time I have other people over for dinner they love my food, every single time.
Sometimes I say things, in a sarcastic or funny way which everyone gets and laugh at. Later, when no one is around he will call me out on it. Yell at me like I insulted him, saying he is so ashamed of me for saying this or that. This happens often. Once he was so angry with me for making a joke on the behalf of his friend (that his friend even laughed out loud about) that I felt the need to apologize to his friend. When I did, his friend had no idea what I was talking about and said with a smile "I don't get offended, I am the biggest joker here, you know that!" I was relieved even though I kind of knew that was going to happen, because no one thought my joke earlier was an insult to anyone.
Later he found out that I had apologized to his friend and blew up even more. He was so angry with me that he wanted to divorce me. (I should have said yes). I still don't know why he was so angry with me for apologizing. It just does not make any sense.
At this point I don't know what I am doing right anymore because everything I do is wrong.