A first glimse

I am Lili Rose,
I am a real person and my story is a real story

I try to laugh every day. I try to give people around me a smile when I look into their eyes no matter if I know them or not. I guess I am also a little bit flirty even though my skills have been surpressed for a while it feels like.
 
Not many knows about the darkness that I feel inside. I even try to hide it from myself. At least a little bit just to be able to manage.

I am in my 30's and I still have many dreams about my future. What I want to do and all this love that I want to share with people. However my dreams seems to have a dark cloud over them. They don't match with the future dreams of His..

He is my husband. We still say the "I Love you" to each other, but what is love? Really? I feel that I have forgotten. We live in a house. We have a dog. We do have sex, every now and then at least. We try to eat healthy at least when I am on a health kick. We go to the gym, not together though, that is a disaster. I work and he works.

My dream is to make a difference in people's lives. But right now I am even afraid to share the love and compassion I have for my own family as he seems to make me feel it is wrong. I am afraid.

... this is my outlet - I want to share my story.