Thursday, June 19, 2014

8 of 20 - Trying to get MY friends on HIS side

Breakup Panic "The Loser" panics at the idea of breaking up - unless it's totally their idea - then you're dropped like a hot rock. Abusive boyfriends often break down and cry, they plead, they promise to change, and they offer marriage/trips/gifts when you threaten ending the relationship. Both male and female losers may threaten suicide, threaten to return to old sweethearts (who feel lucky they're gone!), or threaten to quit their job and leave the area - as though you will be responsible for those decisions. "The Loser" offers a multitude of "deals" and halfway measures, like "Let's just date one more month!" 
They shower you with phone calls, often every five minutes, hoping that you will make an agreement or see them just to stop the telephone harassment. Some call your relatives, your friends, their friends, and anyone else they can think of - telling those people to call you and tell you how much they love you. Creative losers often create so much social pressure that the victim agrees to go back to the bad relationship rather than continue under the social pressure. Imagine trying to end a relationship and receiving tearful calls from all his or her relatives (they secretly hope you'll keep them so they don't have to), seeing a plea for your return in the newspaper or even on a local billboard, receiving flowers at work each day, or having them arrive at your place of work and offer you a wedding ring (male loser technique) or inform you that they might be pregnant (female loser technique) in front of your coworkers! Their reaction is emotionally intense, a behavior they use to keep you an emotional prisoner. If you go back to them, you actually fear a worse reaction if you threaten to leave again (making you a prisoner) and they later frequently recall the incident to you as further evidence of what a bad person you are. Remember, if your prize dog jumps the fence and escapes, if you get him back you build a higher fence. Once back in the grasp of "The Loser" - escape will be three times as difficult the next time.

Warning Signs you are Dating a Loser by Joe M. Carver PhD.
To see all 20 signs and steps to end the relationship click here

We haven't broken up anytime during our relationship. I have thought about it many times thou and I know he has threaten me with it but never sure if he would actually want to. But when we are having difficulties, or I should say; when he is so depressed over that he can't control me, which is when he does not feel that I love him... He will actually reach out to my friends to try to get them to talk to me.

He will try to get them to tell me how wonderful he is and how I should treat him.. I get disgusted just thinking about it. Thankfully they are always on my side!

I wish I had saved something he posted on Facebook not long ago.. but it was something regarding how a wife should be - and all it did was point out the household and sexually chores... It was absolutely insane. I sat next to my best friend when she read it out load to me... It is gone now, I don't know why he removed it... I know why he put it up there.. To get likes and agreement for treating me like a thing rather then a human being with a heart and soul..  

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