Monday, June 2, 2014

2 of 20 - Just not him

Quick Attachment and Expression "The Loser" has very shallow emotions and connections with others. One of the things that might attract you to "The Loser" is how quickly he or she says "I Love You" or wants to marry or commit to you. Typically, in less than a few weeks of dating you'll hear that you're the love of their life, they want to be with you forever, and they want to marry you. You'll receive gifts, a variety of promises, and be showered with their attention and nice gestures. This is the "honeymoon phase" - where they catch you and convince you that they are the best thing that ever happened to you. Remember the business saying "If it's too good to be true it probably is (too good to be true)!" You may be so overwhelmed by this display of instant attraction, instant commitment, and instant planning for the future that you'll miss the major point - it doesn't make sense!! Normal, healthy individuals require a long process to develop a relationship because there is so much at stake. Healthy individuals will wait for a lot of information before offering a commitment - not three weeks. It's true that we can become infatuated with others quickly - but not make such unrealistic promises and have the future planned after three dates. The rapid warm-up is always a sign of shallow emotions which later cause "The Loser" to detach from you as quickly as they committed. "The Loser" typically wants to move in with you or marry you in less than four weeks or very early in the relationship.

Warning Signs you are Dating a Loser by Joe M. Carver PhD.
To see all 20 signs and steps to end the relationship click here

I will have to say that out of the 20 "The Loser" signs that I will be writing about in the next few weeks this one, he does not comply with. And it makes me think --- how on earth did I fall for this guy if there wasn't a honeymoon phase, where he would drown me in compliments and gifts - or something?!!!

Ok.. let me take a step back... There were nice nights in hotel rooms, good dinners, cozy movie watching where I actually got to pick movies, awesome sex, good conversations, he would even come to the mall with me and my best friend waiting for us to get our nails done. He was sweet but not overly persuasive.

To be honest I don't know why I continued to see him - I was never "in love" with him. But I was interested in him. He was different. (Oh Boy was he different... however not the type of different I was looking for as a lifetime partner.)

He would tell me I was good at a lot of things, especially in front of his friends but that soon changed.. To tell you the truth - I was the first person to say "I Love You". I said it even though he had already started to treated me badly - and he didn't say it back to me when I said it.

These days he think that "I love you" from his mouth is enough signs to let me know that he does in fact love me, unconditionally, and despite how horrible I am as a person....

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