"In a NORMAL HEALTHY relationship, your partner will be happy for you to have a life of your own. In a normal healthy relationship, your partner will encourage you to grow. In a healthy relationship your partner will encourage career progression and be happy for you to see friends and family and anything else which helps you to grow. A healthy partner will not feel threatened by external influences in your life." From Dating a Sociopath
A couple of months ago I came home from work with a letter. I was given a pretty nice 7% raise! I was so happy about it as I has been waiting for a raise for a while. It finally came and it was so nice it wasn't just the 2% that most people were getting. I felt so proud of myself and I thanked the people that I knew were involved with it happening.
I showed him the letter. He congratulated me and in the next breath he took all the credit... How can you even do that?? He said that the only reason that I got a raise was because he had been pushing me to talk about my salary on a weekly basis for a looooong time. I never did any of that. I had the salary talk on my yearly review and that is it! He took the credit for my raise - how on earth???
Anyway.. that wasn't that bad.. I just left it at that. I have learned to shut up when there is no point in me getting upset by pushing back.
Now, he uses the raise as a sign that I don't love him. Can you believe that! That I spend to much time doing well at work that I forget to give him that attention he seeks all the time. Huh?!?!!! Yup.. I am just as surprised and dumbfounded every time he says anything about it. It's absurd!
I have a 1.5 year old niece. I have only met her twice. But I love her! I LOVED her before I even met her. About 6 months after she was born, and I had not been able to hold her in my arms yet, we had a pretty hefty argument, not about her... but once again about how horrible I am and how many wrongs I do. How I never make him feel loved enough. He brought up this little lovely girl and said: "How can you even love someone you have never met? She is no one. You put so much effort into loving her that you forget about loving me and taking care of me."
Are you f7$#$%g kidding me?????? (sorry I try not to use those words but seriously....).
....All I can say is that I do not have a normal healthy relationship...
I pray that you do!