I picture myself standing on the edge of something.
There is one step left to feel Love, Acceptance, Understanding, Trust etc...
I am so ready to take that step and to Fly.
I. Want. To. Fly.
But, the fear that something will grab me and drag me down so I can not fly make me stand there on the edge creating a mixture of feelings of love, acceptance, understanding, trust etc with fear of not being enough to be loved, not being perfect enough to be accepted, not being understood, not being worthy of trust...
Words and actions that have been thrown in my face for so long hold me back.
They hold me back on that edge. Anchoring my feet so I cannot take that final step and just fly...
Instead I prepare myself for never being able to fly.
No matter how true that reality is the best way to really describe it is the word "symptoms". They are just symptoms of what has happened to me. Not symptoms of what is happening to me. The reason I cannot fly is not present. It is in the past. The present has brought me to that edge in the first place. Offered me that leap of faith to fly.
I am here... All I must do is just fly.